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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Stoic

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Stoic
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 764
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Stoic's favorite FMLs

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML

#2864467 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (26692) - you deserved it (8287)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

#2799622 (1232)

I agree, your life sucks (31583) - you deserved it (473785)

On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663 (447)

I agree, your life sucks (19478) - you deserved it (39078)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

#2687233 (330)

I agree, your life sucks (6743) - you deserved it (82062)

On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML

#2459150 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (16348) - you deserved it (54641)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML

#1558068 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (54383) - you deserved it (3363)

On 05/02/2009 at 1:05pm - health - by sicktomystomach (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

#1347593 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (8160) - you deserved it (57248)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spotted one of my close friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I decided to creep up behind him, grab his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man voice "give me all your money!". Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (7816) - you deserved it (49111)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML

#1224037 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (43883) - you deserved it (3815)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by tripb101 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

#1192278 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (61218) - you deserved it (11958)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by BerryRockstar (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.