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Stoic

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Stoic
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 996
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Stoic's favorite FMLs

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML

#2864467
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28460) - you deserved it (8716)

On 06/13/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23830) - you deserved it (52875)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

#2687233
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8708) - you deserved it (109885)

On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21274) - you deserved it (73240)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML

#1558068
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61209) - you deserved it (4473)

On 05/02/2009 at 1:05pm - health - by sicktomystomach (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

#1347593
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9557) - you deserved it (72280)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9794) - you deserved it (64125)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML

#1224037
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49190) - you deserved it (5027)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by tripb101 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML



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