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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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StockyardStrong

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StockyardStrong
  • Town/Country : Fort Worth, Texas, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 February 1989 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 375
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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StockyardStrong's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

#814481 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (30780) - you deserved it (56856)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:48am - work - by 00Evan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (57165) - you deserved it (12163)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

#709735 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (87831) - you deserved it (5532)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (122387) - you deserved it (22241)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (154549) - you deserved it (18179)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came out to my mom. I had an epic speech planned, and when I tried to tell her, it all fell apart and I started crying and just said, "I'm gay." After a few seconds silence, my mom sighs and says, "Duh." FML

#506180 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (48763) - you deserved it (12428)

On 03/21/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by teriyaki124 - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348 (832)

I agree, your life sucks (32065) - you deserved it (381785)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

#483847 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (74627) - you deserved it (4860)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by itsgotime (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (154985) - you deserved it (19187)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

#14097 (422)

I agree, your life sucks (372765) - you deserved it (33254)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)