About StitchnLilo : Hi
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33746) - you deserved it (3373)
On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57647) - you deserved it (8171)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51784) - you deserved it (10773)
On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54544) - you deserved it (9166)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22598) - you deserved it (14594)
On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (5379)
On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28162) - you deserved it (4932)
On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7514) - you deserved it (28098)
On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (2692)
On 06/30/2012 at 2:49am - animals - by BloodFaerie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17057) - you deserved it (2137)
On 06/30/2012 at 1:08am - work - by John - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18642) - you deserved it (2894)
On 06/28/2012 at 1:36pm - misc - by whoslade (man) - United States
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29516) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, I received the photos my friend took of me proposing to my girlfriend. I'd proposed at the place we'd first met: the local zoo. When I looked them over, I noticed there was an elephant taking a poop in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17244) - you deserved it (2807)
On 06/15/2012 at 1:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23689) - you deserved it (1730)
On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21776) - you deserved it (10619)
On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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