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StilettoLove

Offline (the 11/06/2014 at 4:22am) | Search for a member

StilettoLove

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 214
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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StilettoLove's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36024) - you deserved it (9848)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35545) - you deserved it (3731)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32945) - you deserved it (4455)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41532) - you deserved it (6812)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56129) - you deserved it (9013)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49589) - you deserved it (13313)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55001) - you deserved it (27631)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63674) - you deserved it (8108)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43941) - you deserved it (13909)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58993) - you deserved it (10554)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52914) - you deserved it (9147)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47084) - you deserved it (4788)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

#20726673
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47914) - you deserved it (20244)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55115) - you deserved it (64231)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30815) - you deserved it (65612)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)



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