Stephen

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Stephen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10011
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Stephen's page activity

Visits<b>Mrcherryberry</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 12:45pm<b>Ben14h</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:14am<b>DolphinLaser23</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:32am<b>jagybains</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:51pm<b>ruffa777</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 11:52am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 6:09pm<b>WramseyWriter</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 5:14pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:52am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/29/2009 at 11:34pm<b>xXNancyXx</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 4:55pm<b>chinesechicken</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 12:17pm<b>skinywiteboy805</b> - the 05/04/2009 at 9:09pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 5:35pm<b>yecam</b> - the 03/19/2009 at 6:28pm<b>theoffspring1234</b> - the 03/03/2009 at 10:41pm<b>Shadow0B</b> - the 03/03/2009 at 2:08pm<b>Cheru</b> - the 02/26/2009 at 1:29pm<b>MaliciousMiggyYo</b> - the 02/23/2009 at 12:19am

Stephen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Stephen's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

by unsatisfied / 03/09/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

by lovewedge / 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

by serverdessert / 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

by squirty_joe / 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm / United States / Work

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

by ohmygoodness / 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML

by Stairway2Heaven / 03/02/2009 at 4:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer opened with "you open bottles with them thangs?" I look around my desk for something he might confuse with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informs me he is talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML

by bottlepoppin / 03/01/2009 at 9:31pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, campus security called to inform me that my car had been in an accident. I rushed down to the security office to find most of the officers laughing. A portable john blew over on to my car and smashed my rear window. Now, security calls me "Port-A-Potty Guy," and my car smells like shit. FML

by Johnny on the Spot / 02/12/2009 at 12:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation