About StephanoTheSloth : Sloth Squad For Life
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StephanoTheSloth's favorite FMLs
Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML
by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace / 01/31/2013 at 6:34am / United States (California) / Transportation
by anonymous / 01/30/2013 at 5:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML
by frozensolid / 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation
Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML
by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK / 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm / Bahamas (New Providence) / Money
Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML
by Trinity / 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! / 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Money
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 6:28am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML
by dearbailee / 09/18/2012 at 10:04am / United States / Transportation
Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML
by juliannamelissa / 09/06/2012 at 2:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by scot / 09/02/2012 at 11:38am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by ihateveganism / 08/22/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by alyssabree42 / 08/04/2012 at 2:56am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…