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StephC720's FML badges
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StephC720's favorite FMLs
Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML
by cay / 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
by jay ze punk / 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by life// / 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by nomegusta / 01/05/2013 at 10:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
by all by myself / 12/25/2012 at 12:00am / United States (Alaska) / Love
by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy
by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by CutestBoysEver / 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…