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SteffiTheSmile's favorite FMLs
Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
by notamathematician / 03/07/2010 at 5:27am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by M_Kclift1994 / 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
by ambermcnulty / 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm / Intimacy
by Michelle / 12/27/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Intimacy
by mclovin09 / 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend's crazy ex, who let herself in with her old key. She screamed at me to get out of "her" bed, snatched "her" blanket off of my body, and finally dragged the bed itself out the door. I was still in it. FML
by jellyfish_ftw / 12/15/2009 at 5:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 11:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Silent / 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML
by OnlyIfYouLoveMe / 11/23/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
by homewrecker / 11/08/2009 at 10:39am / United States / Love
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
by ohcrap / 09/28/2009 at 12:10am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I played a goth character in my friend's student film with goth clothes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is the reason for all the bad stuff in this world" and then spat in my $5 drink. FML
by comet5002 / 09/09/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year old man who only spoke spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…