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SteffiTheSmile's favorite FMLs
by ambermcnulty / 01/04/2010 at 9:27pm / Intimacy
by Michelle / 12/27/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Intimacy
by mclovin09 / 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend's crazy ex, who let herself in with her old key. She screamed at me to get out of "her" bed, snatched "her" blanket off of my body, and finally dragged the bed itself out the door. I was still in it. FML
by jellyfish_ftw / 12/15/2009 at 5:45pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 11:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Silent / 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML
by OnlyIfYouLoveMe / 11/23/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
by homewrecker / 11/08/2009 at 10:39am / United States / Love
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
by ohcrap / 09/28/2009 at 12:10am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I played a goth character in my friend's student film with goth clothes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is the reason for all the bad stuff in this world" and then spat in my $5 drink. FML
by comet5002 / 09/09/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year old man who only spoke spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML
by Idiots / 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2009 at 10:43pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
- Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about… Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in… Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get…
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…