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Stealth05

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Stealth05

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 October 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 457
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Stealth05 : U MAD BRO??

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Stealth05's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33171) - you deserved it (2540)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9992) - you deserved it (26705)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (5138)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you deserved it (4205)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (1755)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22859) - you deserved it (4567)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20303) - you deserved it (5746)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML

#20024961
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25982) - you deserved it (1647)

On 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

#20024282
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27467) - you deserved it (5997)

On 08/16/2012 at 10:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31816) - you deserved it (3006)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

#19996058
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33775) - you deserved it (5903)

On 08/01/2012 at 5:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML

#19990567
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (4189)

On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

#19990134
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32570) - you deserved it (4393)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26980) - you deserved it (2086)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (3550)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia



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