About Stealth05 : U MAD BRO??
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Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Stealth05's favorite FMLs
Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
by Anonymous / 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by BabyG2222 / 09/29/2012 at 5:14am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by smashed / 09/24/2012 at 10:33am / United States / Kids
Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML
by Samantha / 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 5:02am / United States / Intimacy
by anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 9:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 1:27am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids
by magicman / 07/04/2012 at 5:04am / United States / Health
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…