Stealth05

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Stealth05

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 October 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1157
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Stealth05 : U MAD BRO??

Stealth05's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

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Mobility

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Stealth05's favorite FMLs

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

by prettylady? / 10/28/2012 at 12:22am / United States / Love

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML

by sadguyme / 10/22/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

by nahalDZ / 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

by Enragedbitch / 10/20/2012 at 4:49am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

by scarred_sibling / 10/15/2012 at 8:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

by bucollegegirl / 10/08/2012 at 10:07am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health