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Stealth05

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Stealth05

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 31 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 704
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Stealth05 : U MAD BRO??

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Stealth05's favorite FMLs

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

#20136351
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (2416)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:22am - love - by prettylady? - United States

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29879) - you deserved it (4533)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML

#20127903
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17679) - you deserved it (4537)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5927) - you deserved it (51208)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into my room, only to find my 15-year-old brother violating my old teddy bear. FML

#20126784
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21971) - you deserved it (1542)

On 10/21/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

#20125284
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20802) - you deserved it (4732)

On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

#20124966
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28362) - you deserved it (2023)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

#20117813
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34822) - you deserved it (2678)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
521 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75323) - you deserved it (8810)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34046) - you deserved it (5528)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34291) - you deserved it (3556)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

#20107225
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36999) - you deserved it (6030)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47896) - you deserved it (2004)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33334) - you deserved it (2554)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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