StaySmexy

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StaySmexy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 826
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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StaySmexy's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 2:34pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 11:54am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:03pm<b>lovely_mess3</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 3:28pm<b>MrsKilown</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 9:11am<b>Renesaga</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:38pm<b>savery</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:15pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 12:39am<b>xSupah</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:20pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:20am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 2:38am<b>AZCPhT07</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:48am<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 11:55pm<b>super_woahman12</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 10:24pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 6:07pm<b>atalanta18</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:32am<b>ericb982</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 11:52pm<b>TheNelson3</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 5:06pm

StaySmexy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of StaySmexy's badges

StaySmexy's favorite FMLs

Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML

by Hank-T4 / 10/11/2015 at 7:45am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I overheard my co-workers referring to me as "Uncle Fester". This is apparently my nickname around the office, and has been for nearly three years. I had no idea. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2015 at 9:49pm / United States (West Virginia) / Work

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

by pooplife / 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

by no / 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

by rabid_otaku / 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

by sothishappened / 05/20/2014 at 5:54am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

by have it your way / 04/29/2014 at 3:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

by sugarysofalof / 06/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.