Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Starter

Search for a member

Starter

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6964
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D

Starter's page activity

Visits<b>lolwutdino</b> - yesterday at 4:03am<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:51pm<b>MickiJ</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 10:31pm<b>rustycage92</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 7:10pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:07am<b>laniparis</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 4:46pm<b>fueledbyhate</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 6:21am<b>adrianramz69</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 7:01pm<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 8:41pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:06am<b>starfish7</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 6:11am<b>jtthegr8</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 3:14am<b>littlerawr</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 1:36pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 9:07pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:43am<b>cabrillo56</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:32am<b>Mommyof2_91</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 2:17pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 2:07am

Starter's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Starter's badges

Starter's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20374) - you deserved it (2617)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22651) - you deserved it (1486)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (6498)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30811) - you deserved it (18096)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (2517)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (2517)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

#20119087
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (1746)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

#20118123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24212) - you deserved it (3188)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by anon - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (54942)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend promised me he wouldn't leave me alone in Niagara. I'm currently sitting alone in the hotel room drinking a bottle of wine while he gambles away money he doesn't have. FML

#20116235
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20088) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/14/2012 at 8:43am - love - by lonelygirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for the second week in a row, my brother woke me up in the small hours of the morning begging me to help him figure out the math problem to turn off his phone's stupid-ass app alarm. FML

#20115354
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19224) - you deserved it (1547)

On 10/13/2012 at 6:25pm - misc - by fucking fratricidal (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

#20113953
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22248) - you deserved it (1273)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by WTF (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74706) - you deserved it (8757)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33718) - you deserved it (5503)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: