About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D
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Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16566) - you deserved it (1505)
On 08/17/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by fuckoffandfuckoffagainyoucunt (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15194) - you deserved it (4766)
On 08/17/2012 at 12:08am - love - by SquishFish - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5235) - you deserved it (27734)
On 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17479) - you deserved it (734)
On 08/16/2012 at 8:10am - misc - by mdp624 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18251) - you deserved it (1609)
On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18251) - you deserved it (1609)
On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (1752)
On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18131) - you deserved it (4763)
On 08/15/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by foreveravirgin (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14274) - you deserved it (1005)
On 08/14/2012 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7881) - you deserved it (21638)
On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15683) - you deserved it (3402)
On 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Darth Vomitus (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4465) - you deserved it (32276)
On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11743) - you deserved it (12456)
On 08/09/2012 at 7:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16624) - you deserved it (2312)
On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22608) - you deserved it (2784)
On 08/08/2012 at 4:02am - intimacy - by FMLMom - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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