About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D
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Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41213) - you deserved it (4551)
On 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48262) - you deserved it (5779)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44272) - you deserved it (3015)
On 04/19/2013 at 5:50pm - misc - by sherrylynn (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37046) - you deserved it (5780)
On 04/19/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their 1 month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46361) - you deserved it (3463)
On 04/19/2013 at 7:44am - misc - by pleasekillme (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41934) - you deserved it (4797)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)
Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42307) - you deserved it (8122)
On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)
Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36446) - you deserved it (16125)
On 04/19/2013 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Wallz99 (man) - Pakistan (Azad Kashmir)
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37125) - you deserved it (7282)
On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37857) - you deserved it (3410)
On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32068) - you deserved it (2843)
On 04/18/2013 at 8:06pm - misc - by s0m3guy2010 - United States
Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45442) - you deserved it (5037)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36615) - you deserved it (10488)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34591) - you deserved it (5563)
On 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm - love - by RaveCharlie - United States
Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37761) - you deserved it (10790)
On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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