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Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19033) - you deserved it (1411)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15026) - you deserved it (2190)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Scholar - United States
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19927) - you deserved it (7502)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, my crush asked to use my phone so he could Google something. Flattered that he wanted to use my phone, I agreed. After he was done, he handed it back with a weird look. I later realized he had found himself in my top searches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5900) - you deserved it (16842)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Gigi (woman) - United States
Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25737) - you deserved it (1405)
On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17562) - you deserved it (2585)
On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9011) - you deserved it (28975)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19713) - you deserved it (10825)
On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (1129)
On 08/29/2012 at 9:03pm - misc - by never again - Canada (Alberta)
Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15131) - you deserved it (803)
On 08/29/2012 at 9:12am - health - by jdch_99 - United States
Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13305) - you deserved it (1694)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:43am - animals - by anonya - United States (California)
Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (1720)
On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17378) - you deserved it (1308)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17378) - you deserved it (1308)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16298) - you deserved it (1793)
On 08/25/2012 at 2:53am - misc - by coolcocoxxx (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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