About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D
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Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21349) - you deserved it (2930)
On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18015) - you deserved it (1277)
On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am beyond terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16778) - you deserved it (1174)
On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18825) - you deserved it (202)
On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19280) - you deserved it (1206)
On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom
Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21499) - you deserved it (1392)
On 09/26/2012 at 1:07pm - love - by sucker (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22541) - you deserved it (1024)
On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18726) - you deserved it (8124)
On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15931) - you deserved it (1380)
On 09/23/2012 at 5:23am - work - by whatisthisidonteven (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16251) - you deserved it (1082)
On 09/23/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13032) - you deserved it (5958)
On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21826) - you deserved it (4937) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19786) - you deserved it (2038)
On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19492) - you deserved it (812)
On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48503) - you deserved it (1982)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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