About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D
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Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31554) - you deserved it (1964)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was getting a haircut. The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash my hair before she started, as it was way too greasy to cut through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7663) - you deserved it (37061)
On 01/22/2013 at 2:18pm - misc - by Whoops (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (4453)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States
Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11679) - you deserved it (33777)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23760) - you deserved it (1580) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm - misc - by normal - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27030) - you deserved it (5689)
On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39713) - you deserved it (2938)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37873) - you deserved it (3550)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17051) - you deserved it (29721)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26321) - you deserved it (1990)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CollegeChef (woman) - Australia
Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23472) - you deserved it (3671)
On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my parents have kept their bet going about not turning the heat on all season. I woke up this morning to it being the same temperature inside as it was outside. It's snowing out there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23078) - you deserved it (1177)
On 01/20/2013 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26049) - you deserved it (2772)
On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23750) - you deserved it (4016)
On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23649) - you deserved it (5492)
On 01/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by megean c.l. (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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