About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D
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Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (45593)
On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52344) - you deserved it (3387)
On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States
Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32912) - you deserved it (7075)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51458) - you deserved it (3349)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48225) - you deserved it (3371)
On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30603) - you deserved it (6008)
On 05/01/2013 at 2:40am - health - by ChangMu - United States (Iowa)
Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39066) - you deserved it (4073)
On 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm - money - by honeynuggetviolin -
Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37075) - you deserved it (2910)
On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46249) - you deserved it (10835)
On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States
Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34755) - you deserved it (12089)
On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34230) - you deserved it (7197)
On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37036) - you deserved it (2871)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I had a big party planned. All but one of the guests cancelled. See you at 7, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40580) - you deserved it (2946)
On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands
Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35732) - you deserved it (7584)
On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States
Today, I had yet another class with my psychotic, conservative, uber-religious teacher. The "well-known statistic" of today? Over 90% of people who have ever watched porn end up having a divorce due to psychological damage from said porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36307) - you deserved it (4461)
On 04/29/2013 at 3:32am - intimacy - by WTHChristianSchool (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
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