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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Starter

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14835
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D

Starter's page activity

Visits<b>gkmd98</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:37pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:35am<b>lolwutdino</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 4:03am<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:51pm<b>MickiJ</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 10:31pm<b>rustycage92</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 7:10pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:07am<b>laniparis</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 4:46pm<b>fueledbyhate</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 6:21am<b>adrianramz69</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 7:01pm<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 8:41pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:06am<b>starfish7</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 6:11am<b>jtthegr8</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 3:14am<b>littlerawr</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 1:36pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 9:07pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:43am<b>cabrillo56</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:32am

Starter's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Starter's badges

Starter's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

#15748072
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29363) - you deserved it (2950)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said "see you in Kansas". FML

#15733028
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25089) - you deserved it (7524)

On 04/10/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by anonymous -

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

#15702397
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (11861)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:01am - health - by FistFighter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stepped outside my office building for a smoke break and I witnessed a mugging so I ran over to stop it. I succeeded in getting mugged instead of the original target. I then couldn't get into my building until a coworker left an hour later. My boss was mad and still doesn't believe me. FML

#15692090
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (5234)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:58am - work - by Fired -

Today, I accidentally clamped my hair straightener down on my ear. Eleven hours later, it still feels like I have a burning, swollen fireball hanging off the side of my head. FML

#15681998
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27476) - you deserved it (11392)

On 04/07/2011 at 5:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I flew to another country to see a concert. He said he'd carry all the cash and tickets in his wallet, so I left my bag at the hotel. He got so drunk, five minutes into the show he took off leaving me stranded in a strange city with no means of getting back to the hotel. FML

Today, I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication due to the high level of stress that I experience at my job. Unfortunately, I cannot afford the medication because I do not make enough money at said job. FML

#15658999
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30469) - you deserved it (3856)

On 04/05/2011 at 11:26pm - money - by Username -

Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

#15618704
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35144) - you deserved it (3283)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:32am - misc - by Trainspotting - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109877) - you deserved it (7727)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

#15613942
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49641) - you deserved it (5867)

On 04/03/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by cantgetup (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

#15606903
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16071) - you deserved it (45730)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my crush of two years that I love him. He responded with an, "Aww, I'm sorry." and a pity hug. FML

#15560362
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33951) - you deserved it (9373)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34902) - you deserved it (25436)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40327) - you deserved it (9654)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States



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