About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D
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Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24418) - you deserved it (3459)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24835) - you deserved it (2153)
On 08/18/2011 at 4:45am - work - by Academia (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31961) - you deserved it (2002)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28318) - you deserved it (5111)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9142) - you deserved it (22824)
On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (2045)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31168) - you deserved it (2512)
On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States
Today, my mom threw out years worth of trophies that I'd put tons of effort into earning. Her reason? They all looked the same to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22735) - you deserved it (1790)
On 08/15/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by Facepalm (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the pool. He seemed shocked that I wasn't crying. A slim girl in a bikini walked past and said, "Don't worry, fat people are used to it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34842) - you deserved it (4297)
On 08/15/2011 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, our cleaning lady's son came to our house claiming that his mother had died of a heart attack. We gave him her entire month's salary as well as some extra money. A few hours later, our cleaning lady turned up for work. Turns out she doesn't have a son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26791) - you deserved it (14623)
On 08/15/2011 at 1:45am - money - by duped (woman) - Pakistan (Punjab)
Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (2571)
On 08/14/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my 14-year-old son was terrified of going into the water near our house, because he was scared of having his leg bitten off by a shark. We live by a lake. I tried explaining why it couldn't happen, but he just cowered behind a beach towel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19592) - you deserved it (3085)
On 08/13/2011 at 9:17pm - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10371) - you deserved it (29911)
On 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm - misc - by ifailsobadly (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I was on the bus when a really cute guy came on. The only seat left was the one next to me, so I smiled and waited for him to sit down. He looked at the seat, looked at me, and opted to stand until his stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (3143)
On 08/12/2011 at 4:10pm - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20672) - you deserved it (1812)
On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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