About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D
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Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21976) - you deserved it (5908)
On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19314) - you deserved it (3642)
On 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm - health - by acnebutt - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25381) - you deserved it (36768)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (2064)
On 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Alexis - United States (Virginia)
Today, I learned that the "If I can't see you, you can't see me." rule is entirely false. Just because I can't initially see my creepy neighbor, doesn't mean he isn't watching me change my clothes through the blinds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20165) - you deserved it (2376)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Peekaboo (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29691) - you deserved it (1944)
On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18671) - you deserved it (2322)
On 08/26/2011 at 3:35am - love - by EpicMayonnaise (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18869) - you deserved it (1634)
On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19540) - you deserved it (2261)
On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)
Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22346) - you deserved it (4147)
On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States
Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20694) - you deserved it (3804)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by Miguel - United States
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24416) - you deserved it (3459)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24835) - you deserved it (2152)
On 08/18/2011 at 4:45am - work - by Academia (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31954) - you deserved it (2002)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28319) - you deserved it (5110)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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