Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Starter

Search for a member

Starter
  • Town/Country : Denmark
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4908
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D

Starter's last visitors

MickiJrustycage92legendaryplyalaniparisfueledbyhateadrianramz69lambofgodrulesIwtumnstarfish7jtthegr8littlerawrjadeluv

Starter's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Starter's badges

Starter's favorite FMLs

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32738) - you deserved it (11618)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32738) - you deserved it (11618)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I realized why buying clear pins for the wall is a bad idea. If one falls out, you won't be able to see it with your eyes, but your foot will find it just fine. I also learnt foot wounds can produce a pretty significant geyser of blood. FML

#18812906
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18248) - you deserved it (5832)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:53am - misc - by footbloodfountain - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left their sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

#18809719
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31696) - you deserved it (3143)

On 01/14/2012 at 10:07pm - health - by CantPublish - United States

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19232) - you deserved it (49608)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML

#18798370
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16555) - you deserved it (11849)

On 01/13/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, my mother-in-law moved into my wife's two-bedroom apartment. She's quite possibly the reincarnation of Hitler himself, and she'll be staying until this time next year. FML

#18797635
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20482) - you deserved it (1903)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

#18792975
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17711) - you deserved it (2656)

On 01/13/2012 at 2:48am - health - by shellie - Reserved

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

#18782915
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (2041)

On 01/12/2012 at 5:35am - misc - by Dani - Australia

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13175) - you deserved it (41614)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML

#18773775
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22115) - you deserved it (5232)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:51am - health - by Fluffy - United States (Indiana)

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36766) - you deserved it (3391)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36766) - you deserved it (3391)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

#18763355
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34834) - you deserved it (3345)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:52am - love - by Janie (woman) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: