About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D
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Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21639) - you deserved it (1959)
On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was eating noodles. Midway through chewing, I sneezed. The noodles got stuck in my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22245) - you deserved it (2704)
On 09/11/2011 at 11:15am - health - by bob - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my father in law drunkenly announced at dinner that he wished my husband had married my best friend. No one stuck up for me. Not even my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30476) - you deserved it (2116)
On 09/11/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28914) - you deserved it (3191)
On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I missed my bus, so I walked home in the rain from school, only to realize my mom had been following me the whole time in the car, laughing her ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30425) - you deserved it (2991)
On 09/07/2011 at 7:53pm - misc - by me - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15781) - you deserved it (2741)
On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21818) - you deserved it (11685)
On 09/07/2011 at 6:14pm - work - by Sammylad - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after complaining they were too expensive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20137) - you deserved it (1633)
On 09/07/2011 at 7:55am - work - by minimoonpie - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20470) - you deserved it (1748)
On 09/06/2011 at 9:14pm - misc - by b3ardown23 - United States
Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (5180)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)
Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22903) - you deserved it (1565)
On 09/03/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by Panda_Bearr - United States (Michigan)
Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20416) - you deserved it (5653)
On 09/02/2011 at 10:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17936) - you deserved it (7056)
On 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by tryingtobepretty101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23133) - you deserved it (2810)
On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34155) - you deserved it (8525)
On 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm - kids - by MJjunior (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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