About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D
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Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22792) - you deserved it (2662)
On 11/29/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by reallyupset (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22815) - you deserved it (6683)
Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15814) - you deserved it (1866)
On 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm - misc - by Meowingtons500 - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19387) - you deserved it (2619)
On 11/27/2011 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5997) - you deserved it (33820)
On 11/27/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by honor sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22838) - you deserved it (2668)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18073) - you deserved it (6939)
On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32226) - you deserved it (23583)
On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States
Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19654) - you deserved it (4674)
On 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Damnit (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a policeman and me confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31347) - you deserved it (1618)
On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22403) - you deserved it (3108)
On 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13096) - you deserved it (3832)
On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17395) - you deserved it (1669)
On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (2105)
On 11/10/2011 at 9:35am - money - by Agathus (man) - United Arab Emirates
Today, my dad made me quit my online school classes and go back to public school, because apparently when I'm on the computer, it makes his video games lag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (4795)
On 11/09/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by exiledliscense - United States (Arkansas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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