About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D
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Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (16691) - you deserved it (2372)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by it'sabitwindy - United States
Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20535) - you deserved it (1632)
On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada
Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22603) - you deserved it (5264)
On 12/07/2011 at 10:33pm - health - by skrewedguy (man) - United States
Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18639) - you deserved it (226)
On 12/07/2011 at 12:26am - work - by gmnesbitt - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28173) - you deserved it (5005)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17402) - you deserved it (1816)
On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States
Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34718) - you deserved it (7900)
On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salt and water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (5586)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26635) - you deserved it (4032)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24543) - you deserved it (2859)
On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28830) - you deserved it (4083)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (2662)
On 11/29/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by reallyupset (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22816) - you deserved it (6683)
Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15808) - you deserved it (1866)
On 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm - misc - by Meowingtons500 - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19388) - you deserved it (2619)
On 11/27/2011 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Mississippi)
Monday 17 June 2013
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