Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Starter

Search for a member

Starter
  • Town/Country : Denmark
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4941
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D

Starter's last visitors

MickiJrustycage92legendaryplyalaniparisfueledbyhateadrianramz69lambofgodrulesIwtumnstarfish7jtthegr8littlerawrjadeluv

Starter's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Starter's badges

Starter's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19165) - you deserved it (3577)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you deserved it (2774)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13219) - you deserved it (3482)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML

#19337051
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17223) - you deserved it (8650)

On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML

#19332021
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23169) - you deserved it (3911)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:23am - health - by cjd - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML

#19326564
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26557) - you deserved it (2317)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm - misc - by busfail - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23351) - you deserved it (5777)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9554) - you deserved it (59514)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

#19318409
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27355) - you deserved it (18125)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML

#19314232
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9125) - you deserved it (21119)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by thatswhatsup66 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (3981)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19281) - you deserved it (11100)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18403) - you deserved it (10454)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

#19288594
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20801) - you deserved it (12871)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: