About Starter : I just realized that my cat owns me... Im on FML whenever he lets me. :D
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Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45524) - you deserved it (5040)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36680) - you deserved it (10491)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (5570)
On 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm - love - by RaveCharlie - United States
Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37774) - you deserved it (10790)
On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20755) - you deserved it (41627)
On 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Bulgaria (Sofiya)
Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML
I agree, your life sucks (46992) - you deserved it (2898)
On 04/18/2013 at 4:34pm - misc - by bhnja_ (man) - Philippines (Mandaue)
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38636) - you deserved it (4523)
On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States
Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47101) - you deserved it (7543)
On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States
Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37703) - you deserved it (6087)
On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37565) - you deserved it (4967)
On 04/18/2013 at 7:26am - kids - by cowgirl927 - United States
Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32397) - you deserved it (3528)
On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39192) - you deserved it (3957)
On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37221) - you deserved it (3124)
On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48646) - you deserved it (3778)
On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (2320)
On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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