Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Starrinmovies

Search for a member

Starrinmovies

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2926
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Starrinmovies : XXXima fill this out laterXXX

Starrinmovies's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Starrinmovies's badges

Starrinmovies's favorite FMLs

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

#2424875
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70201) - you deserved it (5050)

On 05/30/2009 at 2:52am - intimacy - by nevergoingonabusagain (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

#2414317
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17123) - you deserved it (59696)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

#2406815
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46459) - you deserved it (4686)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm - health - by PiZzA_FaCe (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

#2401782
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59544) - you deserved it (13390)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

#2395953
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10004) - you deserved it (50883)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by M2thaM (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16505) - you deserved it (68213)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on webcam with someone and the conversation died so I said "brb". I sat there for five minutes not realising I had left my webcam on. FML

#2334865
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7913) - you deserved it (72877)

On 05/27/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Arrgh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

#2328337
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7387) - you deserved it (78933)

On 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Ash (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

#2211360
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40442) - you deserved it (24835)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:10pm - kids - by nutrigrain123 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59672) - you deserved it (8445)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
635 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27501) - you deserved it (268483)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61858) - you deserved it (5790)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML

#1861801
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52084) - you deserved it (6559)

On 05/11/2009 at 11:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I decided I didn't care about my pride, and so I asked this girl out in a text. After an hour of no response I asked again. Later I got a text saying, "I'm sorry, This is Emily's mom. Emily isn't here at the moment, but if I were you, I wouldn't ask again." I was rejected by her mom. FML

#1858879
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49949) - you deserved it (15427)

On 05/11/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by ConnorFails (man) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: