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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4888
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Starrinmovies : XXXima fill this out laterXXX

Starrinmovies's FML badges

50 favourites

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Starrinmovies's favorite FMLs

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2009 at 7:13am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

by shway / 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. The waiter brought some bread and I started eating it as I waited for him to take my order. When he approached me he looked at me and said, "Don't eat too much bread honey. It'll make you fatter." Not fat, fatter. I never thought of myself as fat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2009 at 2:03pm / Spain (Madrid) / Health

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

by hatboxghost / 07/09/2009 at 1:17am / United States / Love

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

by uneek14 / 06/23/2009 at 10:19am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

by OompaLoompa / 06/18/2009 at 9:32am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

by unicorn / 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2009 at 9:12am / United States (Maine) / Kids