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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Starpom

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Starpom
  • Town/Country : Paris, France
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 923
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Starpom's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend's response to my question about where our relationship was going was, "Let me check what my Celtic Runes have to say about it." FML

#18434296 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (14508) - you deserved it (2418)

On 12/05/2011 at 3:05am - love - by me - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

#18260922 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (9867) - you deserved it (1027)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (6664) - you deserved it (4688) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (8508) - you deserved it (980)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (1215)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (14296) - you deserved it (29410)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML

#17796010 (322)

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (2805)

On 09/21/2011 at 2:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook and changed our relationship status to single just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML

#16550492 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (29852) - you deserved it (4215)

On 06/07/2011 at 7:09pm - love - by fmfb - United States

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (2390)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

#16367949 (295)

I agree, your life sucks (5636) - you deserved it (34130)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - love - by Derp-A-Herp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (18459) - you deserved it (41104)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to my step-sister's for family dinner. Her husband was really drunk and openly hit on me in front of most of my family. I nonchalantly ignored his advances. Later, my step-mom said it would not have happened if I didn't dress like a skank. FML

#7564709 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (19893) - you deserved it (3794)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by irishbabycakes (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (11718) - you deserved it (28183)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML

#6554102 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (28241) - you deserved it (7458)

On 12/01/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by poopiemanlol - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed a spot of water on the floor. I thought my cats had spilled a cup of water and didn't worry about it. I went to a meeting and when I came back, my entire apartment was flooded with 3 inches of water. FML

#6038699 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (4363)

On 10/28/2009 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)