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Starfoxx's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML
by .__. / 12/07/2014 at 3:10am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML
by leastitwasntsurpriseanal / 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 7:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by infortunatename / 08/01/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML
by betrayed / 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by sexyhobbit / 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, as I was putting on sports shoes to get to a job interview in a hurry, a man ran past me and grabbed my formal shoes while shouting, "Ninja!" Try explaining to the guy at the interview why I was wearing sneakers with a skirt suit. FML
by Baskets-Tailleur / 07/07/2014 at 2:58am / France / Love
by Anonymous / 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm / United States / Work
by outoflove / 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML
by Respect101 / 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm / United States (Texas) / Work
- Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I… Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door,… Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML