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Starfire99

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Starfire99
  • Town/Country : England
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 May 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 933
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Starfire99 : Just an average scmuck with a dry/twisted/dark sense of humour.

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Starfire99's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

#5751188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12385) - you deserved it (29028)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

#4777609
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34385) - you deserved it (6702)

On 08/24/2009 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

#3058885
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16333) - you deserved it (53507)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76461) - you deserved it (4912)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

#221601
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43670) - you deserved it (23982)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239644) - you deserved it (56611)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

#2506
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you deserved it (2151)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:07am - love - by theamericandream - United States (Illinois)



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