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Star1398's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Star1398's favorite FMLs
Today, it's my birthday. I called my mom to thank her for the gift she'd sent. She was surprised and said, "Oh I thought you were waiting to open it." She ended the conversation with, "OK, I'll call you on your birthday." FML
by Trew Love / 05/03/2016 at 2:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by welcome to the neighborhood / 04/28/2016 at 7:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML
by she won't see a therapist / 04/23/2016 at 12:37am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 11:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend wrote me a love letter saying about how much he cares for me, how he'd die for me and how he wants to spend his life with me. What really took my breath away was the confession at the end about how he "accidentally" cheated on me with my best friend. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 10:22pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/24/2015 at 10:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML
by horp / 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML
by halfie / 09/26/2015 at 1:06am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
by BlueMacaw / 09/16/2015 at 2:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teacher plugged the speakers into the wrong input on his computer, and said, "Oops, wrong hole", to which one of the students who often makes the same mistake said, "Story of my life". I understood it differently and started laughing. It would have been fine if the teacher wasn't her father. FML
by zachjm98 / 09/15/2015 at 6:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by NightHawk4926 / 09/09/2015 at 6:15pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals
Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
by earlytermination / 09/05/2015 at 11:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML
by pansypup / 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm / United States (New Mexico) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 4:50am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/26/2015 at 3:45am / India (West Bengal) / Love