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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Stand_Up

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Stand_Up
  • Town/Country : Massena, America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 March 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 378
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Stand_Up : I'm 17, born in Australia raised in Germany, currently living in America, all I'm gonna say is of you don't like who I am then gtfoff my profile, (: I keep it real ifthats what ya say, myy favorite type of music is Emo/Screami, and I'm not one to judge. XP

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Stand_Up's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (8135) - you deserved it (33257)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

#12817288 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (31859) - you deserved it (9143)

On 08/30/2010 at 3:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

#12816242 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (4586)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (24569) - you deserved it (12034)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version

Today, tired of my social anxiety making me look uncool, I told everyone I was going out partying tonight. I'm actually just going to watch 'Jersey Shore' and pretend I'm with the cast. Something even more sad? I'm really excited. FML

#11838934 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (11032)

On 07/12/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by Fefe (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (29211) - you deserved it (2026)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

#8916810 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (7373) - you deserved it (19203)

On 03/08/2010 at 10:14am - love - by xXxtwilightLUV95xXx - United States (Texas)

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

#8504699 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (16744) - you deserved it (1826)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:04am - intimacy - by C.Neyy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML

#8480132 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (3708) - you deserved it (27448)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for half an hour. The entire time, a man I had gone on a date with and that had gotten very out of hand with, was sitting in the car next to me. I noticed, panicked, and tried to drive off, rear-ending the car in front of me. FML

#8430182 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (3295) - you deserved it (15580)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Skankeriffic (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

#8130658 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (15995) - you deserved it (3448)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML

#8118993 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (15051) - you deserved it (3176)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:14am - love - by sari14 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my soon-to-be mother in law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

#7923613 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (10722) - you deserved it (3436)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

#7891851 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (20228) - you deserved it (2578)

On 02/04/2010 at 10:53pm - kids - by 102496 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother gave my daughter a behavior chart. I noticed that "drinking beer" was at the top of one of the columns. It's a chart for my daughter to use on me so my mother can judge my parenting skills. I am currently losing a sticker right now for being on the computer. FML

#7775302 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (22027) - you deserved it (3073)

On 02/01/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by argh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)