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Stalkertchicka's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
by toothache / 05/14/2013 at 8:03am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by clumsy / 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by inconnue / 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML
by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals
by crétin-crédule / 02/26/2013 at 12:02am / France (Limousin) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML
by kherien / 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by MonCoiffeurAdoré / 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
by devinbyrne / 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by lauren / 07/08/2010 at 12:51am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Nox / 01/06/2010 at 2:25am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by LC / 11/03/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Michigan) / Money
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
by who_could_it_be / 08/06/2009 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop was hot so I flirted with him as much as I could. But when he came back to the car he still gave me a ticket. Feeling desperate I said, "I thought you didn't give tickets to pretty girls." His response: "We don't." FML
by Anonymous / 07/31/2009 at 9:51am / United States (Utah) / Transportation
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…