Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SrakaSrakasta

Offline (48 minutes ago) | Search for a member

SrakaSrakasta

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1256
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

SrakaSrakasta's page activity

Visits<b>kaet</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 2:51am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 10:48pm<b>Kazze</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 4:14am<b>blueballs1988</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 6:57pm<b>onelonelyhalo</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 1:09am<b>derpina72</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:41pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 4:51am<b>magnetic_aura</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 12:32am<b>coledh</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:00pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 2:47pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 11:30am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 2:32am<b>LaineyBot189</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 8:01pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 8:00am<b>LadyLelan</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:55pm<b>Linemanmike</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 6:42pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 2:22pm<b>ThatSmartAlek</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 1:13pm

SrakaSrakasta's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of SrakaSrakasta's badges

SrakaSrakasta's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69283) - you deserved it (3975)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30493) - you deserved it (33532)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50298) - you deserved it (11352)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50300) - you deserved it (7094)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83163) - you deserved it (4348)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33412) - you deserved it (4472)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

#20548954
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13199) - you deserved it (52647)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21850) - you deserved it (62081)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16930) - you deserved it (35878)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32919) - you deserved it (5562)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40829) - you deserved it (8172)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57724) - you deserved it (10915)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44813) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42864) - you deserved it (7375)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34421) - you deserved it (2777)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: