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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8133) - you deserved it (28423)
On 11/30/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31434) - you deserved it (6360)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (16266)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22570) - you deserved it (3620)
On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41547) - you deserved it (13498)
On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14052) - you deserved it (4651)
On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I realised I know the map on World of Warcraft better than the map of my own country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5750) - you deserved it (29702)
On 02/18/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by DLS - United States (Vermont)
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37923) - you deserved it (2297)
On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10048) - you deserved it (42198)
On 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by R (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50626) - you deserved it (9073)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (188465) - you deserved it (21069)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15921) - you deserved it (8726)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10401) - you deserved it (17457)
On 01/22/2009 at 10:14am - misc - by insearch4i - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had an important appointment for a job. During the interview, my cellphone rang. My ringtone is "Denver, the last Dinosaur". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5164) - you deserved it (21388)
On 11/17/2008 at 4:54am - work - by Dothy - France (Aquitaine)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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