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SrakaSrakasta

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SrakaSrakasta
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 555
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SrakaSrakasta's FML badges

Perfectionist

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I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

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SrakaSrakasta's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing hysterically, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36095) - you deserved it (2463)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39534) - you deserved it (4319)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (62770)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

#20841839
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22515) - you deserved it (34320)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44192) - you deserved it (20773)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

#20803453
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41316) - you deserved it (7872)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53065) - you deserved it (18210)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

#20770214
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42372) - you deserved it (4027)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:19am - animals - by PerfectTiming - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61857) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

#20697165
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29338) - you deserved it (32064)

On 05/31/2013 at 10:59am - animals - by fuckshitcockwaffle (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47659) - you deserved it (10614)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48041) - you deserved it (6804)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72311) - you deserved it (3137)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31981) - you deserved it (4331)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

#20548954
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11499) - you deserved it (48779)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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