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Offline (the 01/26/2015 at 12:22am) | Search for a member
About Squtchy : Computer + Phone = Life
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I passed out at a party after having a few too many, as one does. I woke up with swastikas and penises drawn on my face with permanent marker. I now have to go home, using public transport, to my prudish, Jewish dad who thought I was at my friend's house for a sleepover with no alcohol. FML
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Wednesday 28 January 2015