About Squtchy : Computer + Phone = Life
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Squtchy's favorite FMLs
by murrrrf / 07/21/2014 at 1:30am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
Today, I passed out at a party after having a few too many, as one does. I woke up with swastikas and penises drawn on my face with permanent marker. I now have to go home, using public transport, to my prudish, Jewish dad who thought I was at my friend's house for a sleepover with no alcohol. FML
by ragass_mctree / 09/29/2010 at 7:02pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by marriedwithfamily / 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm / United States (Connecticut) / Holidays
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
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- Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in… Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a… Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break…
- Today, the guy I've been with for 4 years chose hard drugs over me and our daughter. Happy birthday… Today, I went to check out the aftermath of my Saturday. My Elantra had a blowout, I informed the… Today, on my first day as a home health care provider, I walked into my first clients house to find…