Squirrelx

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Squirrelx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 863
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Squirrelx : I've been reading FML for two years, yet I just made an account...
Anyway, I'm new to the comment stuff. I'm sure all of mine will get thumbed down, but whatever.
I love dubstep. WOMP WOMP WOMP.
I want a turtle.
Uhm, get to know me? :P

Squirrelx's page activity

Visits<b>THEDUDE1553566</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 6:12pm<b>jsosk</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:13am<b>mathen</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 6:40pm<b>Sapphiresin</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 3:10am<b>marinegrant</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 1:28am<b>Silver0910</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 12:59am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 10/05/2011 at 4:30am<b>Kenshinwebs</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 6:19am<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 4:02am<b>strength413</b> - the 07/30/2011 at 7:18pm

Squirrelx's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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Squirrelx's favorite FMLs

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

by daddoesn'tknowbest / 10/13/2011 at 8:24am / United States / Kids

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

by southernluxe / 09/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

by cjay2200 / 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Kids

Today, I went to a concert. The music was great, but the drunk guys behind me made it hard to pay attention. Half way through the second act, one of them took it upon themselves to start peeing on me. FML

by concertqueen / 08/27/2011 at 6:40pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

by acnebutt / 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 12:34pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

by ifailsobadly / 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

by Username / 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous