About Squirrelx : I've been reading FML for two years, yet I just made an account...
Anyway, I'm new to the comment stuff. I'm sure all of mine will get thumbed down, but whatever.
I love dubstep. WOMP WOMP WOMP.
I want a turtle.
Uhm, get to know me? :P
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6192) - you deserved it (33223)
On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7997) - you deserved it (51621)
On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21344) - you deserved it (2305)
On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (6436)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29014) - you deserved it (7067)
On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States
Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (6256)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I went to a concert. The music was great, but the drunk guys behind me made it hard to pay attention. Half way through the second act, one of them took it upon themselves to start peeing on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24934) - you deserved it (2080)
On 08/27/2011 at 6:40pm - misc - by concertqueen - United States (California)
Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19370) - you deserved it (3644)
On 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm - health - by acnebutt - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5746) - you deserved it (52769)
On 08/27/2011 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10416) - you deserved it (29995)
On 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm - misc - by ifailsobadly (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31189) - you deserved it (6738)
On 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by Username - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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