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Squirrel1256

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Squirrel1256

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 936
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Squirrel1256 : I love coming to FML to laugh, and feel better about myself.

Squirrel1256's page activity

Visits<b>thisguy22</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 10:05am<b>TCRII</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:32pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:08pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:09am<b>Akerra89</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:48pm<b>larryb1986</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:37am<b>Indianboy9321</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 11:52pm<b>chris_42</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 11:47am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 5:58pm<b>Waspinator1998</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 9:50pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:45pm<b>abitabanana</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 8:47pm<b>hessel</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 2:41pm<b>mnie</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 8:04am<b>xbaumann</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 1:38am<b>kiba1229</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 11:27pm<b>jessicaJayyCx</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 10:09pm<b>leekoon</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 7:40pm

Squirrel1256's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Squirrel1256's badges

Squirrel1256's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79737) - you deserved it (8238)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27821) - you deserved it (8009)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

#20551761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40021) - you deserved it (2594)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36543) - you deserved it (2569)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46747) - you deserved it (2960)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49439) - you deserved it (24460)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20481) - you deserved it (59866)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61456) - you deserved it (5377)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

#20521929
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40988) - you deserved it (3399)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

#20518411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35604) - you deserved it (6082)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28414) - you deserved it (5989)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (5453)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32593) - you deserved it (3093)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23535) - you deserved it (9504)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38296) - you deserved it (2154)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)



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