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Squirrel1256

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Squirrel1256
  • Town/Country : Elkhart or Manhattan Kansas, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 April 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 640
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Squirrel1256 : I love coming to FML to laugh, and feel better about myself.

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Squirrel1256's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

#20690062
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40700) - you deserved it (13066)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

#20649920
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49695) - you deserved it (3667)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by trice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40640) - you deserved it (71509)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

#20634162
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40828) - you deserved it (10482)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52159) - you deserved it (6576)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50837) - you deserved it (8369)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

#20601828
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40038) - you deserved it (6539)

On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

#20597356
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45378) - you deserved it (8678)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by S. Fancyson - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

#20597351
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44098) - you deserved it (6992)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

#20597317
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31117) - you deserved it (3224)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33632) - you deserved it (7421)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38390) - you deserved it (16525)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70645) - you deserved it (6034)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

#20552081
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26491) - you deserved it (7793)

On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States



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