About Squirrel1256 : I love coming to FML to laugh, and feel better about myself.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47052) - you deserved it (3315)
On 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by trice (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32391) - you deserved it (60466)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States
Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36991) - you deserved it (9221)
Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66121) - you deserved it (8130)
On 04/23/2013 at 2:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48375) - you deserved it (5780)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47097) - you deserved it (7543)
On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States
Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37702) - you deserved it (6087)
On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41833) - you deserved it (7832)
On 04/16/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by S. Fancyson - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36602) - you deserved it (5859)
On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28988) - you deserved it (2846)
On 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (5481)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33245) - you deserved it (12596)
On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60334) - you deserved it (5771)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22867) - you deserved it (5862)
On 03/20/2013 at 10:31am - work - by missedfistbump - United States
Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34829) - you deserved it (1705)
On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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