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SpyroCool's favorite FMLs
by confused / 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Fuck / 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm / United Kingdom / Love
by Justified12 / 10/13/2014 at 10:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
by d4rkxf0x / 07/22/2014 at 11:54am / United States (Texas) / Geek
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
by all puked out / 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML
by where do they come from / 07/01/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Washington) / Work
by now have a cat / 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by BetterThanChocolate / 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Love
by Not-pregnant / 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals
Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML
by mommy / 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML
by worker666 / 04/13/2014 at 10:51am / United States / Work
Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML
by Anonymous / 04/06/2014 at 5:07pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
- Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging… Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her… Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the…