I'm Sprinter and I'm 18. I'm on here basically to read FMLs and save the ones I like. I occasionally post a comment, but don't bother responding because I won't ever see it.
Visit my website: http://sprinter136.webs.com
Today, I couldn't use my normal subway exit stairway. There was a homeless man blocking the exit, furiously shitting and wiping his ass with newspaper. I can never un-see this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23342) - you totally deserved it (1218)
On 02/04/2010 at 1:01am - misc - by subwayrider (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5543) - you totally deserved it (17390)
On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)
Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10922) - you totally deserved it (1727)
On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States
Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17981) - you totally deserved it (1882)
On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)
Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent christmas eve googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12833) - you totally deserved it (1536)
On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (12518) - you totally deserved it (7545)
On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you totally deserved it (1208)
On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14121) - you totally deserved it (4940)
On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - misc - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20209) - you totally deserved it (1807)
On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29564) - you totally deserved it (1501)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20446) - you totally deserved it (2682)
On 11/29/2009 at 9:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17321) - you totally deserved it (5762)
On 11/28/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lol smiley face - United States
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17667) - you totally deserved it (4915)
On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom yelling, "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6475) - you totally deserved it (12949)
On 11/25/2009 at 2:36am - kids - by n/a - United States
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27846) - you totally deserved it (1758)
On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
