Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (yesterday at 10:20pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 535
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About SpreadTHEKILLER : Life: Something that will brutally fuck you. Hard.


SpreadTHEKILLER's page activity

Visits<b>mzhaze</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 2:13am<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 1:52am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 12:03pm<b>Trippleballs</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:40pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:11pm<b>jakers8424</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:13am<b>18emikot</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:32pm<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 7:40pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 10:16pm<b>ezrajab</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 12:02am<b>momac86</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:28am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 9:05am<b>VHBJ</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:05am<b>sstahpp</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:10pm<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:45am<b>pizzas_awesome</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 1:23am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:13pm

Fucked!<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 6:03pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 5:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:04pm<b>VHBJ</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:05am<b>sstahpp</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:23pm<b>odamaliekh</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 1:58am<b>Wsparta</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:32am<b>devildog562</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:12am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 4:07pm

SpreadTHEKILLER's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of SpreadTHEKILLER's badges

SpreadTHEKILLER's favorite FMLs

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (8325)

On 09/18/2015 at 1:30pm - love - by shitfaced (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I found out that my parents secretly throw away any food I cook for them, because they think I might try to poison them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (2489)

On 07/03/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by Rusty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (5146)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you deserved it (2402)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19442) - you deserved it (57523)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29283) - you deserved it (3152)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32941) - you deserved it (2569)

On 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm - health - by grossedout - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tried to manscape with some Nair. Nothing helps the pain. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23910) - you deserved it (9501)

On 01/15/2015 at 4:05pm - misc - by NairyAGoodIdea (man) - United States

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32957) - you deserved it (16710)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:10am - misc - by KilledTheMoment - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40953) - you deserved it (3551)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:11am - misc - by Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45715) - you deserved it (7011)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40190) - you deserved it (4804)

On 08/02/2014 at 6:37pm - work - by Shitmetalseller (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49841) - you deserved it (5249)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: