Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member
About Sports_guy3 : School's rough and boring, so I come here to let off some steam.
I live by the Creed: "Nothing is true, everything is permitted. We are Assassins." Love Assassin's Creed!!!
I play and have played a ton of sports. I'm deciding whether to I should take a career in football or baseball. I've played tennis, golf, basketball, soccer, track, and swimming. I play violin, I have all accelerated classes, I also want to learn French, German, and Russian, so if you can teach me, I'd love it. My girl-friend also has an account. Not that I'd give it away. I love FML, got tons of haters. 13 yrs old. A bit of a Grammar Nazi. My Xbox LIVE gamertag is HanFoldo500. I LOVE Assassin's Creed, Call of Duty, Halo, Battlefield, Grand Theft Auto, Nintendo DS, PlayStation. Message me if you want to know more about me. :-D My Kik is BlackSlimhady3
Call me at 1-800-BUSY
Shout out to these users for being some of the funniest people on the website:
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML
Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML
Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML
Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He told me one of my lights was busted, and I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said, "Thanks, I'll get that fixed right away." then gave me a ticket. FML
Friday 17 October 2014