About Spider : in relationship, full time employed, generally happy
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20224) - you deserved it (10624)
On 08/23/2009 at 12:48am - work - by introuble (man) - United States (New York)
Today, after my partner of two years broke up with me, I decided to have a heart to heart with my mother about it. Her advice was to clean the house. I asked how that would make me feel better. She said that she wasn't sure, but at least the house would be clean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20320) - you deserved it (3078)
On 08/22/2009 at 8:43pm - love - by Loveless (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28412) - you deserved it (2987)
On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (167376) - you deserved it (7608)
On 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Loveless (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got all my co-workers motivated. We were all going to quit and walk out the door. I went first. I gave an emotional speech to my boss and threw my uniform to the ground. Then I turned around to to see the rest follow, they all began laughing. They didn't. They WANTED me to quit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42901) - you deserved it (25379)
On 04/08/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by ineedanewjob (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (218) - you deserved it (4801)
On 04/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by intranator (man) - Jordan (Amman Governorate)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (93891) - you deserved it (4010)
On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12885) - you deserved it (70749)
On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15749) - you deserved it (56275)
On 04/08/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by thatwasmiz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55457) - you deserved it (5021)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (136678) - you deserved it (6048)
On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47963) - you deserved it (7667)
On 02/16/2009 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by LALALA3 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47963) - you deserved it (7667)
On 02/16/2009 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by LALALA3 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47429) - you deserved it (13280)
On 02/16/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by pineapple456 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47429) - you deserved it (13280)
On 02/16/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by pineapple456 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
