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About Speedy22 : hey my names alyssa and im 17
lol idk wat to write yet so i'll update later
=]
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if your going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4422) - you deserved it (68218)
On 06/08/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my friend was having a party. It was going good until I got the hiccups really bad, and they wouldn't go away. My friend decided to scare them away by shooting a pellet gun right next to my head. Bad news: It blew out my eardrum. I still have the hiccups. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43805) - you deserved it (3397)
On 06/08/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77124) - you deserved it (4578)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10623) - you deserved it (62972)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (232621)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was with my 14 year old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40550) - you deserved it (2769)
On 06/05/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Pierce (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (82864) - you deserved it (35686)
On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25696) - you deserved it (62194)
On 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67084) - you deserved it (6066)
On 03/14/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by CPN (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26565) - you deserved it (54428)
On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107090) - you deserved it (10508)
On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35961) - you deserved it (225410)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44528) - you deserved it (79651)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85895) - you deserved it (6950)
On 03/10/2009 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by petpeeeve (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29955) - you deserved it (63930)
On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
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