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SpeedToast

Offline (the 10/23/2014 at 2:26am) | Search for a member

SpeedToast

4Liked!

SpeedToast
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 235
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About SpeedToast : Hey guys. :)

SpeedToast's page activity

Visits<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 8:45pm<b>TheAndrewJohnson</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:55am<b>Mc2013</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:16pm<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:29pm<b>Swedish_Eagle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 8:15am<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:22pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:07pm<b>Thorvald22</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 6:08pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:34am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:27am<b>crashk13</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:11am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 3:20am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 9:32pm<b>Amysparkles97</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 5:44am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:22pm<b>LilTiki559</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 3:01am<b>kerripjones</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:44pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:49pm

Liked!<b>crashk13</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:38pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:00pm<b>patd77</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:45am<b>allstarrider</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 12:48pm

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SpeedToast's favorite FMLs

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
152 comments

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

#21251377
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38009) - you deserved it (3355)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm - kids - by MusicLover18 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40478) - you deserved it (25498)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41798) - you deserved it (5304)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44963) - you deserved it (5572)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40751) - you deserved it (3191)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

#20782097
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47998) - you deserved it (16530)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by peniswoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59784) - you deserved it (10741)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21936) - you deserved it (3542)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML

#19369431
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20079) - you deserved it (1764)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by a - United States

Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML

#18899300
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17583) - you deserved it (35203)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43005) - you deserved it (4399)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38189) - you deserved it (3142)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20888) - you deserved it (236329)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
678 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (49184)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States



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