SpeedToast

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Offline (the 02/27/2016 at 10:57pm)

SpeedToast

28Fucked!

SpeedToastSpeedToast
  • Town/Country : Lubbock, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1561
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About SpeedToast : Hey guys. :)

SpeedToast's page activity

Visits<b>twitch5517</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 7:34am<b>duduv2</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 2:01am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:44am<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 1:58pm<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 8:08am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:24am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 9:50am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 1:50pm<b>dno79</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 10:55am<b>Zatert</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:37pm<b>the_wakeboarder</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 12:42pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 9:47pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 7:30pm<b>Sam_Dchi</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:21am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 10:24pm<b>Revreo</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 8:48am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:03pm<b>WhoDaFku</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 11:31pm

Fucked!<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 2:09pm<b>dno79</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 4:56pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 4:03am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 6:08pm<b>thatguy240</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:21am<b>Project71</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 11:29pm<b>afrostybird</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:02pm<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:32am<b>Tander</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 5:36am<b>amine91</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Clapdaddy</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 3:28pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:09am<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:38am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:55am<b>khoov19</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:17am<b>moron011</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:24pm<b>jordyn20915</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:06am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:29am

SpeedToast's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of SpeedToast's badges

SpeedToast's favorite FMLs

Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML

by Hank-T4 / 10/11/2015 at 7:45am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, a week after my miscarriage, my little sister thought it appropriate to wrap her belt around her neck and scream, "Hey look, it's your baby!" FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Kids

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

by Iamsosorry / 06/22/2015 at 7:35am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

by notgay / 06/21/2015 at 2:04am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

by shmarf / 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

by shmarf / 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

by justin Bieber / 06/15/2015 at 10:49am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML

by Boss Troubles / 03/17/2015 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

by anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

by ElementaryEdGuy / 09/11/2014 at 11:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

by MusicLover18 / 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

by green and not with envy / 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

by KarateKid76 / 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy