Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Spartancjm

Offline (54 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Spartancjm

7Fucked!

SpartancjmSpartancjm
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 February 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 4046
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Spartancjm : Hello there.

If I somehow interested you through my picture maybe even a genius (or flat out retarded) comment, then I should tell you about myself.

I'm a guitar player and play rock/hard rock/metal
My favorite music is hard rock and metal
I love to read fantasy books
I play video games, particularly RPGs and others
I don't have a favorite band.
Message me if you want, love talking about faith/music/FANTASY/games B)

Spartancjm's page activity

Visits<b>lkah</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 9:19am<b>kayposion</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 2:14pm<b>peceout</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:49am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:08pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:04am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:49pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:09pm<b>gkmd98</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 10:43pm<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:55pm<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:45am<b>pokemyeyes</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 5:42pm<b>Skycop_S</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 9:58pm<b>lex1459</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:04am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 11:27pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 9:03pm<b>Bethaneey</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 8:21pm<b>azemazer</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 5:07pm<b>Role448</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 6:18pm

Fucked!<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:41pm<b>ughlifesuck</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 4:46pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 12:37am<b>StupidUsername89</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 3:46am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 2:52am<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 5:02pm<b>nishimehta</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:38am

Spartancjm's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Spartancjm's badges

Spartancjm's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34524) - you deserved it (17097)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33489) - you deserved it (3252)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

#21324443
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18119) - you deserved it (51986)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (7944)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML

#21312671
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34524) - you deserved it (3416)

On 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36681) - you deserved it (3530)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

#21285126
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40483) - you deserved it (9363)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39240) - you deserved it (3064)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

#21267650
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46215) - you deserved it (4384)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:48pm - health - by impure - United States

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40181) - you deserved it (3992)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47743) - you deserved it (6199)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42983) - you deserved it (4050)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45238) - you deserved it (6422)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47439) - you deserved it (18356)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: