About Spartancjm : Hello there.
If I somehow interested you through my picture maybe even a genius (or flat out retarded) comment, then I should tell you about myself.
I'm a guitar player and play rock/hard rock/metal
My favorite music is hard rock and metal
I love to read fantasy books
I play video games, particularly RPGs and others
I don't have a favorite band.
Message me if you want, love talking about faith/music/FANTASY/games B)
About Spartancjm : Hello there.
Spartancjm's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Spartancjm's favorite FMLs
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2015 at 3:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by oops / 09/26/2015 at 10:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend is as punctual as a German train; I woke up to see her taking a dump into a plastic bag in our bedroom, all because my roommate was using the bathroom and she had to leave for work on time. FML
by WakeUpToADream / 09/25/2015 at 4:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Enanimus / 09/25/2015 at 2:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML
by lovedoesnotexist / 09/24/2015 at 7:52am / Belgium / Love
Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML
by gotmilk? / 09/22/2015 at 9:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by amburrjade / 09/22/2015 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Geek
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2015 at 9:00am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/18/2015 at 11:35pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
by earlytermination / 09/05/2015 at 11:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by TheIVkindaruinsthemood / 08/05/2015 at 2:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 1:35pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML
by Crap / 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by rissa5214 / 07/26/2015 at 2:20pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
- Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly… Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked… Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was…