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  • Number of visits : 654
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Spartan9616's FML badges


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Spartan9616's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

by spougeineye1 / 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

by Gothicbunnyx3 / 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML

by shea234 / 02/20/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2012 at 1:22am / United States / Transportation

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

by thatoneperson / 02/17/2012 at 7:43am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML

by mypoolisstilldirty / 02/16/2012 at 11:26am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

by Out of Shape / 08/16/2011 at 6:09pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Health

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

by A girl / 06/27/2011 at 3:55am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

by fmlguy382 / 06/22/2011 at 4:13am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that so bad? He was hosting an AA meeting in the basement. FML

by Eric / 05/12/2011 at 10:19pm / Health

Today, I discovered that not only is my live-in mother-in-law a fan of Lady Gaga, she dances around the house naked to fully embrace the music. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 12:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

by parenting_failure / 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm / Kids

Today, I received a text message from my wife who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends: "Have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you tomorrow morning." His? FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2011 at 1:21am / Love